你可以偷我的句子，也可以偷我的表情，但你要是偷我的心我就要叫老公了。
You can steal my sentence or my expression, but if you steal my heart, I will call you husband.
刚刚跟朋友玩打手背游戏，不小心抓到了她的手，然后他拿出手机在网上搜索，被单身狗抓了需要打狂犬疫苗吗？
I just played a backhand game with my friend and accidentally caught her hand. Then he took out his mobile phone and searched on the Internet. Was he caught by a single dog and needed rabies vaccine?
最近很多朋友说我胖了，这不禁让我陷入思考，我怎么会有这么多朋友？我的朋友是不是太多了?
Recently many friends said that I am fat, which can not help but let me into thinking, how can I have so many friends? Are my friends too many?
她模仿我的风格，学我的穿搭，想和我一样，可惜，她永远做不到和我一样穿A还空杯。
She imitates my style, learns my dressing, and wants to be the same as me. Unfortunately, she will never be able to wear a empty cup like me.
正义都能迟到，为什么我不能多睡十分钟？
Justice can be late. Why can I sleep ten more minutes?
我妈今天和我说，闺女，你不能再胖了，你看你穿上内衣就是个葫芦，不穿内衣就是个梨。我爸说，胡说，咱闺女也是凹凸有致的，明明是个藕，胖的一节一节的。
My mother told me today, girl, you can be fat any more. You can see that you are a gourd in your underwear and a pear without your underwear. My father said, nonsense, our daughter is also concave and convex, clearly is a lotus root, fat section by section.
刚刚在街上看到一个人在表演bbox，走近一看，才发现是柳絮吹他嘴里了。
I just saw a man performing bbox in the street. When I came closer, I found that it was catkins blowing his mouth.
长这么大，没学到别的本事，就掌握了一项特殊技能，白天不用安眠药也能安眠，晚上不用兴奋剂也能兴奋。
Growing up so big, I didn learn any other skills, so I mastered a special skill. I can sleep without sleeping pills during the day, and I can be excited without doping at night.
每次买藕的时候我都觉得异常吃亏，每买一斤藕就有半斤空气。
Every time I buy lotus root, I feel extremely vulnerable，Every Jin of lotus root has half a jin of air.
人倒霉，喝凉水都塞牙，水更倒霉，被喝也就算了，还要被困在你那有口臭的牙里。
If you drink cold water, you will plug your teeth. If you drink it, you will be trapped in your bad breath teeth.
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